Taking pictures just for the sake of the film

Crits done. Just one class left. Thank-god. I need a break from all that. I’m starting to get crushed on people, and when that madness starts happening, I need to get out of dodge and reassess.

And now I have a few days to start back up all the things that have been thrown to the side.

I did my dishes the morning. I slept 12 hours to make up for the lost nights and nights of sleep. I made coffee instead of buying it. Actually, making coffee has been the one thing I have been keeping up with, despite the nuttiness. So strike the previous.

What else… I started organizing my music collection. Autiobiographically. (No, not really.)

I started playing with my new ebay camera. It’s old and dusty and awesome and I’m going to try my damnedest not to use it just for the sake of using something old and dusty and awesome. (See materialmasturbation here)

Yesterday’s crits made me realize that, despite how much everyone wants to peg ‘artists’ as lazy, footloose, pithy, careless, etc,  there is a lot of hard work thinking that needs to get done when no one is watching. Pre-artwork. And there has to be a reason for everything. Materials, matter. It ALL matters.

Why take a photograph of an object if you are not trying to make a photographic object look different than the actual object? I know why I started taking photographs. I see in a relatively flat way, and I want to try and reproduc that, to make pictures to show others. I rarely take a picture and hide it away. Which is maybe why the immediacy of polaroid is interesting to me right now. It’s the analog/physical object version of turning a digital camera over and looking at the LCD. Slower.

TallGirl’s canvas prints of scanned objects brought a lot of stuff to mind for me. Discussion resulted in: “If you don’t care about the photograph, and the scan is the same size as the object, Why not just show the objects?”

We talked about it last night, during blackmold roubdtable  and Tallgirl doesn’t seem to know which direction to go with it. I think she needs to make something with the printed scanned objects. Maybe fold them into a shape. Maybe sew them into something useless (like a bag with no opening). Something. With meaning. I told her she should put them into some kind of frame (K suggested embroidery hoops) and use them for target practice. Guns seem important in her whole girl/boy discussion.

Anyway. Has got me thinking about what I’m taking photos of (houses and buildings, mainly) and why (because I think where we live is as important as a lot of other things, and far more important than nostalgic pictures of chuck taylor’s and merry-go rounds). And more on why.

Place is big. Sure. I guess it concerns me becuase of how weird it is that we pair off, turn on the tv and hide out from the world, for the most part .Pre-pairing off, there is the whole Vinyl danceclub interviewing. Not even interviewing. Screening might be more appropriate. But after that selfish-fuckhappy 20s (which occasionally spills into 30s), for the most part, its sleep-8hrs, work-8hrs, spouse(kids)-8hrs. And again.

Maybe place is important to me, right now, becuase I am displaced? Or maybe I’m reacting to being displaced for 3+years from my family? My friend/grade8crush told me, a few Christmases(sp?) ago that his mom had moved out of the town we grew up in, and he no longer had a home there.
So strange a concept. But pretty distinctively 2007.(6,5,4,whatever)

Something my grandmother will never know in her lifetime. Something my mom may never know in her lifetime.  Something my inconceivable kids may know all too well. Maybe not. maybe I can settle in a place and get comfortable.  That seems like my eventual goal. But then there is restlessness, dissatisfaction, all these gen XY concepts of selfishness.

So? who knows.

I’m going to go take some pictures of something. But before I click the shutter , I will have some answer to ‘So what?’ in my head.

Sidenote: heard Bishop Allen on the tv at the chinese food takeout place on the corner. On a panasonic (or similar) camera commercial. That clickclickclick song. Never really liked that one, cuase it sounded too jingly.

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